It’s Raining…

My phone rang pulling up a number I didn’t recognize. I normally don’t answer such a call and figure that if its important enough the person will leave a voicemail but something prompted me to hit the answer button.

“My name is Samantha (Sam) and I know this might come as a shock to you so please don’t hang up on me until I am able to explain because he did the same thing to me.”

She paused just long enough for me to tell her she must have the wrong number.

“Anne?”

My heart sank as I confirmed she had reached who she was looking for.

“I just spent the last two weeks in Kentucky where my best friend had a baby and when I came home I found all my things in a trash bag thrown in the back of his closet.”

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Pause…

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  Author Unknown

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Chewing Dust…

Chewing Dust….

Have you ever woke up one day and felt the gritty taste of sand in your mouth? And no… I’m not talking because you decided to have a late night of drinking and smoking the night before… I’m talking the lonely… roll over to an abundance of pillows outlining the figure of a non existent body… thinking ‘its Saturday’…. and then realizing… “I have nothing to do.”

Girls wine night gets put on perma hold…. Planning of ‘girl’s night out’ or even just ‘a night out’ rarely exists anymore… and the actual thought of renting 10 Netflix movies and laying on the couch is at the top of your weekend plans list. Not that it’s a bad thing at times…. But after awhile… seems to feel a little ‘loser’ like.

Do you taste the dust yet?

 

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Sign… Sign… Sign…

I found myself wondering what my last name would look like if it were ‘his’…. So I took out a blank piece of paper and started signing away…. Let’s try a little extra ‘curve’ in the first letter… no, maybe it needs a bit more flair on the end…. Trying to see how well it flowed and if it felt ‘right’.

 I filled the page…. Both sides.

 

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Intrigue Me…

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It’s a devilish kind of smile….

The kind that’s warm and giving… yet evil and mischievous…

The kind of smile that keeps you guessing…

Makes you wonder what’s behind that quiet grin…

Intrigue Me….

 

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Whole Again…

Oh it felt so good to be walking off the plane… just knowing on the other side of baggage claim was a red headed girl who held the other half of my soul. My sister.

Kelly was getting married on Friday… I was flying in late Thursday night. Pretty quick visit since we were all flying back out on Saturday and headed for Mexico (9 of us)… but in the course of 48 hours I would experience…. See… feel… and realize an overabundance of things that would change my path of thinking forever.

 

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Do you remember when toaster ovens were ‘the thing’?

Do you remember when toaster ovens were ‘the thing’? Because I do…

I remember when CD players came out…. When you could buy a ‘single’ on a tape… when cars had manual roll up windows… and when the over abundance of dog poop wasn’t such an issue that you had to walk around with a plastic wal mart sack to pick it up.

I remember sitting in my pretty little head … just wasting my life away. Wishing I would turn 16 so I could drive… then 18 so I could gamble… then 21 so I could drink… as if the correct age on my driver’s license stopped me from doing most these things before the proper age anyway… but the point is I wasted time… wishing to be older…I just never remember wishing to be 35 for ‘something’…

Now that I am I seem to be wasting time… wishing I was younger.

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New Perspective…

New Perspective…

Ok… so how about I let YOU on a little secret about ME….

I love to write….

Didn’t see that coming now did ya? But it’s not as simple as just saying… I love to write. How about I NEED to write. Does that make any sense to any of you? I’m sure to a fellow writer it does… makes perfect sense… but to most of you it doesn’t.

That’s ok… I’ll explain.

Some people NEED to drink…. Some people NEED to smoke… Some people NEED to shop…. And some people even NEED to exercise.

That last one seems a bit crazy to me… but who am I to judge… I NEED to write.

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Bathroom floor moment….

Bathroom floor moment….

There was a book I read…. And in the first chapter the author talks about her ‘bathroom floor moment’… it’s a moment in which you just don’t feel as if you could sink any lower… it’s the bottom of the barrel…. Where you find yourself lying… cheek pressed against the cold tile of the bathroom floor… where you feel as if you can’t get up… and life has handed you a lesson you just don’t know if you have the strength to overcome.

From this very moment you realize…. The only way from here is either to stay down… or work yourself up off the cold tile.

If you have never had a moment like this you can consider yourself lucky in life… If you have… you can consider yourself even luckier.

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drinkin smokin and eatin cheese.

 I wrote the following about the fair a few years ago and thought Id share…. Enjoy. (ps… laugh a little… its not meant to offend… but more to entertain)

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